Translation: Suoli

There are no rules when it is a question of the sense of your life

Part 4
The good times only just began but had damaged hopeless and forever
Jacob

For one second I could to lose control but had stopped in time. But seeing sleeping Bells I became frozen – I could to cripple her. I got up from the bed quickly. Bella’s sleeping well and doesn’t moving. But the smell is just like a vampire was in the house. But it’s not belongs to red-hair woman.  I had run follow the smell ready to transform. The smell follows to Bella’s father room. Cold fear had chained my stomach. Did the bloodsucker arrive to Charlie? I flew into his room transported with rage and ready to change.
Charlie was sleeping with slowly breathing. I came to myself. He’s alive. Suddenly the voice of wolf howling cracked my hearing by whip. Sam… I jumped through the window transforming to a huge red-brown animal. It’s too far from to the morning because there is an impenetrable darkness now, but not for the wolf eyes. I run to the backside of the house and dived to a fern thicket and needles. All pack gathered there. Black wolf was taking the lead.
- Jake, what took you so long? – Alpha’s voice at last sobered my minds. – We were waiting for you… oh! – He had changed the voice intonation. – I see.
- Uuuuuuuu!.. – Jared was howling.
- Congratulations, brother, - that was Embry.
It seems that they’d seen in my head effect to them just like the smell of vampire to me.
- Thanks for attention. The concert is over. Could you stop to dig in my head and explain me what’s happening? Vampire was at Charlie’s room but did not hurt him…
- We wanted to call you but you were busy. – Paul did not refuse a pleasure to brush against me. I already wanted to throw him.
- Paul! – Sam had cut him short. – Calm down, Jake. He was not here. He… she was talking with Charlie in hospital. I saw her, but she doesn’t know who I am. Cause she could not standing near me.
- Female?
- Charlie calls her Alice Cullen. Do you know what it means, Jake? – Cullen! – I saw the all picture in his head. – I wanted to follow Charlie when she took away him but it seems it is he took away her. He was touching a VAMPIRE, Jake! Just like a human. I had to stay with Sue and you know in what efforts I didn’t follow him. But shortly after he came back and when I asked him who was that, Charlie said just a familiar and she’s already leaving.
- Leaving? But why she had appeared? She asked about Bella! Loud roar broke out from my chest. – Sam, is that means they will be back? And why she asked about Bella? – Fear for Bella had locked my mind. They will return and hurt her. I was ready to tear to pieces everyone who’ll dare to approach her for a mile.
- Get cold, Jake! We have an agreement!
- But Bella!..
- Would you let me to say? – Sam bawled at me and prepared to a jump. I had to obey to him. He stepped back. – At first we must to ascertain truly they had returned or not. From the hospital I followed the smell. After Forks gateway is not our territory. And smell leaded to their dwelling. She didn’t leave, she went home.
- And what do you propose? To show up the pack and ask them how long they will be here? They even do not know that we are existing. 
- I don’t know yet. We must to convene the council.
- Devil! Don’t you know? Then who must no? You are the leader!
- Damn him! Jake, you must understand – we can’t to patrol all the territory around the city anymore. As we have no right to get across the Quilette’s border. So our chances to catch a red-haired bloodsucker are insignificantly small now. And if Cullens will return we must to submit it. We can’t to break the agreement. It’ll be mean the death sentence to us. All of you know that there are seven of them and they will have numerical superiority if become the battle. I clenched my fists mentally – Sam has the right.
- So you can return to Bella now.  Embry and Jared will come home. They’re need to rest.  And we with Paul will be to keep watching.
I was standing motionless and thought about all of this. It’s so inopportunely.  The good times only just began but had damaged hopeless and forever. What will bring to Bella their… HIS arrival? If they will be to attend the school again she’ll meet with him and she can to fall in depression again. He doesn't give a damn about anything because left her for eating up by other bloodsuckers. And he has the cheek to show himself in her presence. If only I could to meet him face to face, she would never saw him again.
- Even don’t think about this! – The voice of our leader had returned me to the earth.
- Aaa… Sam, I guess I contrived how get to know either return them or not. We have Bella… the bait… do you remember?
I saw what about Embry thinking and that moment plunged my fang into his throat.
We were bowling along wet earth tearing each other to pieces.
- Stop it immediately! – Cried Sam and with Paul and Jared following us. But that was not the order, so we seized each other with a huge fury.
- Leave them, Sam. Let them playing. Funny! Now I’m not alone so unrestrained. – But Sam ignored him.
Finally I knocked Embry off his feet. And he whined plaintively.
- So maybe that’s enough! Or I can to attach myself to you! – Sam was standing in hunting stand above us.
I dismounted from Embry. He had rising to his feet and looked offended.
- You’re an insane, Black – there who you are!
Alpha was standing between us.
- Are you calmed down? Now let’s talking! – And this was the order.

Translation: Suoli

When the sleeps becomes to reality

Part 5
You’re just like a shield for me from the all bad
Bella

I was dreaming about the forest opposite the beach. I came out from the thicket and was going to the sea. In my dream the sky was sunny without any clouds. It was so amazing because all this native places are always covered with clouds. I was barefoot walking the beach and was surprised the warm and dry sand. Usually the sand was wet and dirty here. And I never went for a walk without shoes. Cause the weather was damp and cold end even providing with shoes and heavy socks my foots were frozen. It was impossible to be as happy as I was because of this long-awaited warmth which muffled up me just like a blanket, each ray of smiled sun, each capful of breeze and gray-golden sand where I left my foots’ tracks on. Near me were tracks of a big red-brown wolf. I was not afraid he so cloth to me because I knew who that was.  I approached him to touch his soft coat on his neck, but wolf bristled up and growled step back from me. I did not understand why he doesn’t want my caress. Suddenly he stopped reading for a jump. I was standing motionless and could not move to try scamper.
- Run, Bella! – I’ve heard velvet voice. My favorite hallucination alarmed me about danger.
At the second wolf rushed to the attack. I fell to earth covering my eyes with palms and waiting when sharp fangs will plunge into my body. But I didn’t feel pain. Instead I’ve heard a loud crack. It seems people don’t feel pain while dreaming. I tried to open my eyes bud the dream did not disappeared. Behind me was the same wolf. He was sitting above someone’s lifeless body which unnaturally shined under the sun rays. I stepped up and recognized a bronzy hair on the head of immovable man.
No, Jacob! – I woke up with horror and covered my lips by palms muffling the scream. I don’t want Charlie ever heard my screaming. I know – it disturbs him a lot. I even didn’t jump out of bed. I guess I can to carry my nightmares quietly. Let my dad thinking I’ve got better.
Taking a whole chest of air I’ve come to myself slowly. The day is brightening behind the window so it’s impossible to distinguish contour of objects. It’s rather early now. I pulled down my hands. Why is it so hard to move to me? I had an effect the truck ran over me. Suddenly I remembered all was happened last night. I blushed and smiled. Sweet warmth spilled through my body. I’ve turned my head and saw Jacob looking at me. All nightmares passed away.
- Good morning! – I wheezed lowly. Besides I have organism dehydration. I have no moisture in my mouth.
A jug full of water was standing on the bedside-table. It is so wonderful Jake guessed right to put it here. I tried to get up – ensued very bad. At last I was at sitting pose and not paying attention to a glass drank almost all water from the jug. The water became warm during night but I don’t care. All this time Jake didn’t stop to watch me. He lied motionlessly on one side. Jake didn’t cover his body with blanket so I could to admire dazzle beautiful relief of his body. The blanked was over me. I felt an access of tenderness – he was worrying about me when I was asleep. I wanted to give him a grateful kiss. Throwing a blanked away I moved to him to realize my thoughts. Jake snatched me by his big hands and met my lips. It’s just like to return home. Our kiss changed into passionate and long and didn’t want stopping. I was almost out. Jake stopped when it was already impossible to breath. But he didn’t let me go. His lips continued to cover my face with kisses. Hot breathing burned my neck and back when he pressed cheek to my hair.
- Is that was a nightmare?
- Yeah. It’s often happening since the time that…
But Jake had broken me to not speak aloud:
- Well, maybe if you would tell me what this about it will stop to vex you?
Many months I was screaming every night of horror which forged my soul and could not tell anybody about it. About what exactly was the reason of my nightmares. Or who was…  I would be considered mad. And this is almost true because strange voice in my head couldn’t be calling a normal appearance of psychologically healthy human. It belongs only to me. That’s enough of my screams Charlie couldn’t to sleep calm.
If Jake didn’t hug me I’d pressed my hands to the chest through habit to shut throbbing wound. Instead I nestled closely to Jacob and he just caressed my hair not hurrying me for an answer. A pain was leaving from me. I thought he has the right to know.
- Actually these are not only nightmares. But it’s terrified me. Almost always I see the forest but personages changing. At the beginning there was Sam. Sometimes I see you. But today I’ve seen you killed… Edward. – The last word I’ve spoken noiseless.
- Are you afraid me when I transforming into wolf?
- Not exactly, but tonight in my dream I wanted to touch you but you growled and jumped on me. But truly – not on me, - I remembered a bronzy hair and lost the breathing.
- I will never hurt you, Bella. Don’t be afraid of me! – He lulled me just like a little baby.
- I know. I’m not afraid of you. Quite the contrary – I fell safety with you and not just because you’re werewolf. You’re just like a shield for me from the all bad. When you’re beside me I’m not thinking anything but you and it’s not painfully anymore. It seems I have pathologically dependence to be with you. Am I selfish person?
- How can I think so? If you’ll become better I depend on you too, Bells. Both of us cannot be without each other. I know what happens with you and I’ll be with you to help.
- Thanks, Jake. You even don’t imagine what do you means to me.
- But I know what you mean to me.
I smiled. Jake had let me go sitting close to me. I’ve heard his stomach uttered belly sound.
- Time for breakfast? – I remembered last time I was eating yesterday morning. The hunger had let me know itself.  It looks it can do not disturb until you’re not think about.
It has grown much lighter outside. If the word “light” could be used to the weather in Forks.
We came downstairs to the kitchen. I filled up corn flakes with milk and heated up baked pudding for Jake - impressive portion. I have no idea how to feed Jacob only by corn flakes. We ate quietly. Jake looked only at his plate, but I looked only at him. So cup with cereals I was eating much longer than Jacob his plate with baked pudding.
After breakfast Jake took my hand and we settled down on the sofa. I sat to Jake’s knees and embraced him. I don’t to go anywhere. I don’t want to let him go. I’m egoist. Except me he can to have problems much more important than me.
  We even didn’t turn on the TV. We’re feeling good without it. It is so unused to meet morning not in the company of my father. Oh! I forgot! Charlie! I jumped just like scalded.
- Dad must be already awakening!
- He awoke and went on the patrol car in thirty minutes before you did. – Jake returned me to the same place.
- Today will be the funeral. Poor Sue and her children. – I surmised he went to them and will be there all day. – Jake, why you did not sleep?
- I was watching at you.
Oh! He’s not first.
- And I went out to transform. I had to speak to the pack.
- They didn’t know where you are, did they?
Jake didn’t answer me for a few minutes, but when he started talking, his voice was anxious.
- Bella, I need to tell you something. I… damn, I don’t know how to start.
- Jake, what happened? Is it something bad?
- I’m not sure for now. But do not perceive all what I’ll say too seriously, ok? Just listen to me. You must know that I’ll never allow to somebody hurt you. – Jake looked very restrained. I was losing the patience.
- Ok, but if you won’t tell me what about this I’ll gonna be crazy now.
What exactly he can to tell me? I saw Jake became darker with every word.
- Bella, I… we think Cullens are returning.
- What?! WHO?! How did you know that?
- Sam has seeing one of them at the hospital.
- Carlisle? – I knew only one vampire who was concerning with people treatment. – Did they…? – I wanted to ask did they not fight with each other. In my memory appeared awful event on the meadow when wolves were hunting Loran. But that was at the uninhabited forest! They could not do it in hospital. But what is Sam had lost control? There could be victims among people! I didn’t want to imagine this and shake my head to chase away appearing pictures.
- No, that was not their leader. That was she… her name Alice Cullen.
- Alice? Did Sam attack her?
- Attack? What are you saying about? We have no right to attack Cullens. My great-grandfather concluded a treaty with them. Saw would never do that.
- But you…?
- What do you mean? The treaty concerns me too. I’m werewolf, do you remember?
- I don’t mean this. Could you hurt anyone of them?
- Bells, they are our enemies. If not the treaty…
- Even don’t think about this. They all are good…
- What? They left you for laceration to the same of them!
- That was not them… - I had a lump in my throat.
- Than him! What for you loving them so?
- They were my family, - I hung my head.
- Family… Did you really wanted to become a member of their family?
- Well, yes, formerly, but Edward didn’t agreed with this.
- So he decided to leave you alive. He could to kill you, Bella! What did you thinking about? Damn bloodsucker! He tempted you then went away!
- Don’t say that! – I was screaming through crying.
Jake noticed my tears, grabbed me and pressed to himself.
- Forgive me, Bella! You loved him, didn’t you? Forgive for crying to you. I’m so a fool. Forgive me, baby…
He took my head with his palms and strew over my face over with kisses.
- I don’t want you weep because of them. They will return and hurt you again. – Jake wept with me. I embraced his neck trying to stop weeping.  We were consoling each other.
It’s just like a thunder on the clear sky. Cullens will return. Or already were. Edward said his family will never disturb me again. What could happen they changed decision? Will HE return too? Do I want to see him again? I recognized that yes. But what will be than? Edward compelled to believe I’m not suiting him. I imagined his perfect marble face. No, I’m not ready to outlive this one more time. Not now, when I have Jake. I don’t want he’ll be to suffer from me. I gave a promise to myself he’ll be happy with me.
I asked myself – what for all of this to me? Why is it so happening? Why disasters cannot to leave me and my folks? At first was Loran, then Victoria. Oh, yes – and James. And now Jake with the pack who became my family will lose the calm of my last family. My best friends are worst enemies. What an irony of destiny!
I remembered my life before arriving to Forks. I had to stay with mom to not bring a tail with grieves and woes. I make sure with this every time more and more. But how could I know that all will happen in that way? And fabulous personages will come alive and start to visit me in my nightmares. I would never meet Edward. Jacob could never fall in love with me. It’s too late to change something. Do I really want it? I looked on Jacob – I’ll die without him.
- How Sam knew Alice? I mean – except smell.
- Your father knew her.
- Charlie? Was she talking to dad?
- I was surprised too when saw that through Sam’s eyes. Your father took away her. But it seems she did that. Bella, tell me – what common causes can be between them?
I remembered dad was crazy about her.
- The fact is Charlie has good attitude to her. Do you remember I told you I was in hospital in Fenix last spring? When I returned home I was in a plaster. Well, Alice nursed me. She helped to take a shower etc. They with Charlie became friends.
- Did she was your sick-nurse? - Jake stared wide-eyed.
- Why?
- It seems I don’t know a lot of things about you.
Actually he’s right.
- Jake, what are you going to do now?
- I don’t know yet. Sam wants to gather council at first. If vampires will return to their den, we cannot to step over the border anymore. Red vampire won’t dare to show herself in reservation, but at their territory we’re weak now.   
- Can they to permit you to visit their territory? Maybe you’ll can to agree with each other.
- Bella, that’s why the agreement existing. We cannot to ask more. Besides acquaintance of you doesn’t know we are existing.
- So what for the agreement? They doesn’t know about you and you will hunting everywhere.
- Do you think they won’t see us and won’t understand who we are? I we’ll be first who’ll go across the border and break the rules it will mean “war”. 
- Sorry. I said the stupidity.
- Nothing. But you must understand – it’s not a joke.
Jake laughed.
- What’s so funny?
- You have almost guessed right.
- About what?
- Embry proposed something similar you thought to. Then I decorated him a lot.
- For what? – I didn’t believe to my ears. Jake scuffled with best friend.
- About to agree. He proposed you’d come to their home asking details of their arriving and tell them about us.
I became frozen. Why I did not think about this before? It’s changing everything. There will no threat anymore to break the rules. It’s nothing. I missed them so much. I will see Alice! I tried do not think about I can to meet there someone else. I had to send this thought to the distant corner of my consciousness.
- So why did you scuffled with Embry?
- Bella, don’t you understand? He wanted YOU came to their home! I cannot to allow you came there alone. Sam liked this Embry’s idea, but after my protest he agreed to discuss it with the council after funeral.
- You can go with me.
- WHAT?!
- Jake, listen to me! – I screamed. - They’re not bad! I was there before! There is no danger. – I tried do not think about Jasper. – And I don’t want you with Cullens will gnaw throats to each other. Think about Victoria! She threatens to whole city!  And… I guess I contrived… Jake, will it be a breach of covenant if you’ll come with me like a human?

Translatoin: Suoli (I'm very sorry for a long waiting, I was buzy a lot)

Sometimes you even don’t know you have enemies

Part 6
The talk was going too far in a blunt corner
Alice

I was sitting at the drawing-room clasping me knees in hands. Jasper will arrive here in an hour. I left him in Denali. Parents and Rose with Emmet are flying on different airplanes from Europe now and will come Forks in the morning. 
I made a mistake as for Bella. She doesn’t need us anymore. Only one thing disturbs me – Victoria. But this is our blunder. Nobody even could think she will return. This red rogue deceived all of us. She was near our house, so she knows we’re leaving. And decided this is her territory now. But if we’re not living here it doesn’t mean other individuals of our kind can to hunt here. When all my family will gather here we’ll decide what we can do to catch her. Edward will arrive later than others. I remember how he changed his voice when I said him about fresh Victoria’s track in Forks. He worried about Bella.  I said nothing to him what I should. He will read it in my head. At least he must be happy his plan came true.
But it’s not so pleasant to me! Brother will ever be like before. Edward will resign himself to Bella’s choice. It was his idea. But he’ll can’t to throw out her from his heart. It doesn’t matter what he’s saying that will be better for her. I don’t believe him. He will always love her.
Suddenly I’ve heard the sound of engine drawing far from here. I don’t know it. Somebody of my relatives already bought a new one? But now becoming twilight and it’s too early for arriving anyone of them. Besides the sound belongs to one of the old models of Volkswagen.
I tried to strain and to look who is driving the road to our house now. But I saw nothing. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t see anything? Who’s there?
The car stopped and I smelled some repugnant and one human. Bella? So is it possible after her jump I can’t see her anymore?
I was sitting watching the door in shock and didn’t understand anything.  The knock at the door and entered to it without hearing any answer. The door opened slowly.
- Alice? Carlisle?
Bella was with two giant Indians behind her. One of them I saw at the hospital. So this is the smell! I remembered I smelled it in the hall but didn’t mind.
- Bella? – I was confused. What does it mean?
- Hello, Alice! – Her face showed happiness and rapture.
- Bella, what are you doing here?
- It’s just a visit. Are you not glad to see me?
Bella wanted to come to me clothier but dark-browned eyes Indian put the hand on her shoulder. Her fellow travelers are looking strange a lot wearing only with sport trousers without shoes.  I can feel their hot. And all of them wrinkling up their noses. Who are they? And this awful smells. Surmises turning around my head but now I can’t to determine something.  Maybe they are the reason of spaces in my brains. What a…!
- Bella, who is this?
- These are my friends – Jacob Black and Sam Uley. You’ve meeting with Sam.
- Yes, we were, - he answered with low voice. He has bulging eyes the same like in hospital.
- Why are you alone? Where are the others? Will they come?
- They will come later.
Her face expressed alarm with slimmed-down. And my female friend pushed the hand to her chest.
- Alice, listen to me. I must to say to you… my friends… they are werewolves.
The thousand part of second was enough for me to understand what does it mean. Werewolves? My instinct of self-preservation worked in one moment.  I run in the corner of drawing-room. Werewolf can to kill a vampire. Now I remember, Carlisle told us with Jasper the story about tribe of Indians who can to transform to giant wolves. What is the surname which Bella called? Black? Then the leader was Ephraim Black.  Puzzles became full. So Ephraim ‘s descendant is werewolf too. That’s why I didn’t consider at once. We didn’t join Cullen’s clan yet. The others of us were knew him.
- Bella, how could you? I didn’t expect it from you. Four young werewolves against me… Did you decide to catch us one by one? – I had no choice and stood in defense position.
Suddenly the lad who took Bella’s shoulder turned her and clasped to his bosom protecting her. I guess I know him. Oh, yeah – the prom. I remember Edward’s face when Black stole one dance with Bella. He grew up quickly. I know why he wants to protect her. Charlie said her boyfriend’s name is Jacob. He didn’t waste his time. So her boyfriend is a werewolf. Bella cannot live without extreme.
Another piece of big puzzle clicked in my head. So that’s why I didn’t see Bella anymore. She was with him all the time. Cannot I to see the werewolves? It’s too bad. I could to have an advantage over them. They couldn’t to catch me. But now I am the target number one for them.
- Jake, everything is ok… let me go, - Bella tried to release from his steel embraces.
Does he afraid my attack? But how can I… against those bodyguards! He could to show a pride.
- No! – Finally I’ve heard his hoarse voice.
Black didn’t let her go. His hands started to shiver and Bella put her ones above.
- Alice, you’re wrong… They’re humans now.
- So what does it mean?
- Alice, listen…
- So now you’re with them, Bella! You exchanged ones monsters for others – our enemies.
- We’re not your enemies, - said Sam Uley.
- Not enemies? Aha! So what are you doing here? Bella, you didn’t tell them we’re not hunt on people, did you?
- We know that and we came here with peace.
- What peace?
- We need to talk to you. Bella proposed the help of peacemaker.
Bella was the one of them who was calmed. She turned to me and tried to express smile to my side:
- Alice, listen to Sam. He is the leader of the pack.
Leader? But what about Black? His great-grandfather was a leader. Doesn’t they have respect to ancestors?
Uley wanted to step forward but then he changed his mind:
- You’re must do not afraid of us. Were here not for you or someone of your clan. We’re observing the agreement. That’s why we’re humans now. If you know what about I’m talking now.
- There wasn’t me with Carlisle, but I know what about you’re talking now, - I relaxed a little but stood at the same place folding my arms.
- We have a problem and we can’t to solve it because you’re arriving.
- Explain yourself.
- The woman of your kind is hunting in the city, - he became silent waiting for my answer.
- Alice, this is Victoria, - Bella said.
- I know.
- What does it mean – “you know”?
- I tracked down her. She swam by the river. But this is not your trouble.
- You’re wrong. It’s ours too. She kills people in the city. Bells, tell her.
- Alice, Victoria needs me, - she looked at the floor.
- How do you know that?
- Loran was telling me she wants to avenge her James. Well… not me… - Edward, - she’s ready for crying. Her red-skinned boyfriend doesn’t let her go even for a millimeter.
- Loran? What does it mean “he was telling you”? Did you meet him?
- He wanted to kill me too, but… he’s doesn’t exist anymore.
The talk was going too far in a blunt corner.
- Wait, wait… let’s start from the beginning. Tell me about Loran. I was in Denali, and Irina said he leaved them not long ago.
- Your dark-colored known is not alive anymore. We took care about this. We had killed him because he nearly killed Bella; - leader had taken responsibility to inform of this news.
Killed? I remember Irina said he liked her, but he was also very plaintive because of the cruel rules. She will be not delighted with it.
- Bella, I don’t understand. Why did Loran need to kill you?
- He was uniting with Victoria in her plans. Also he said he'll kill me quickly instead she wanted. If was not pack he had time to do what he thought.
I was in shock. If Edward will know about that he’ll become fury of the Loran, Victoria and of himself best of all. Cause left his beloved unprotective.
- Bella, forgive us. We couldn’t even to imagine Victoria will return Forks. You hat to seek protection in wolves.
- We can to take care about her without your help; - Black had broken my talking by his hoarse bass.
- You didn’t understand. I have no doubt to as to your abilities, but this is our business. We’ll catch her. This is our duty, because Forks is our territory. Carlisle will be here until morning. So we’ll decide how to do it.
- Before your appearance we could to track her all over the city. But now we can’t because of the agreement. Do you know about the border?
- I know about its existing.  I’m sorry for the inconvenience. We never thought you can to exist. But we don’t need to stay here any longer as soon as we’ll catch Victoria. But this is will decide Carlisle.
- We had to submit with inconvenience. Tell Carlisle we don’t want problems. We agree to observe the contract and for the… truce. You must know Cullens must to not to go across the border too. But we want to talk with you leader personally.
- Not personally but with all of us. When all of us will gather here we’ll tell you.
- Great.
- But… how can I communicate with you?
- Well, - he watched on my friend, - Bella, can we to rely on you?
- Of course! – She said quickly, - Alice, do you have my number?
- Yes.
- Now we must go. Sorry for scaring you, - Sam said.
Did he decide to jeer at me at last? But the face of their leader was calmed a lot.
- Alice? – I saw Bella didn’t want to go.
- Yes, Bella.
- Are we still friends?
I smiled.
- I guess so.
- Jake? – Bella left up her interrogative look. He weakened his embrace.
She wanted to step up to me. I crossed the room and stood in the middle. Now his turn to concede. Black slowly let out on hand.
- Jake, she was my sick-nurse. You promised to fly right.
Why she remembered it?
He let off Bella, but still took her left palm. I saw she wanted to run to me for embrace. Instead she step up to me and took my hand. I carefully shake her frail palm and we smiled to each other just like old friends with lot woman secrets not known anybody except us. The other Bella’s hand Black still took. I looked at him by the detest look. Black gently pulled by her hand and returned to him.
- He doesn’t want to share you with me, does he?
- Don’t be cross with him, Alice. He loves me.
- And what about you?
Bella looked at him with the look, so she doesn’t need to answer. Some time she almost in the same way looked at my brother.
- Bye, Alice.
- Bye.
All Indians were near the car. Jacob with Bella left after them. It is so strange that all of them except Bella were leaving room back to the door. Nobody turned around to me. Are they thinking I’ll clutch at their necks? There are four or them! So funny. It looks like common sense couldn’t fight instinct fear before enemy.
The door in diving room I left opened. Maybe the smell of unexpected visitors will remove by air. I stayed alone and run to the first floor.
I thought about all was happened sitting on the big sofa. So many events during two days! The reason is my vision.
I was sitting motionless with shut down eyes until in 15 minutes I’ve heard a din of engine. It was almost quietly now so I knew to which car it is belongs to. It was the red cabriolet with tip-up roof.  I already knew who was there and his cloth. Also I knew he’ll be sitting near me in 6 seconds. When the time passed I opened my eyes:
- Hello, Jasper.
We took each other hands and could not to stop looking.
- Alice, don’t you want to tell me something?
- Not now, I missed you so much.
We looked to each other just for 1 second, but then Jasper jumped to me tearing our cloth in pieces. Stony bodies get in touch with aloud crash. One more second and I feel him inside me. It’s so good… We rolled on the floor plaiting with a crazy dance of our bodies…
At last we were lying unmovable still taking our hands.
- I was so lonely without you all the time.
- How long time ago I was saying I love you? – And I kissed his lips.

Bitterness of the remembrances and pain of soul

Part 7. His name was once again pierced my brain with a thousand of needles. Bella

Roast was appetizing crackling in a pan on the stove. So, I still need to chop the salad - and dinner is ready. I'm going to wash the vegetables now.
While I was cooking, Charlie was wearily sitting on the couch and watching TV. Actually, he pretended to be watching, mindlessly switching channels. Dad did not want to distribute his sad mood at me, so he tried to portray that all is well. He said he was not hungry, but I knew he was exhausted for the whole day, and that he can lift his mood with a hearty and delicious dinner. He won’t be able to refuse, after testing my roast, which has filled an entire kitchen and living room with its fragrant aroma.
When Jake with the guys brought me back home, Charlie had already returned from Clearwater’s. I was afraid of my father's wrath in vain. His eyes immediately lit up with joy for the children, when he saw us together with Jake. And the whole evening Charlie did not give me a single reason for the appearance of redness on my cheeks.
My favorite werewolf went with the other three of the pack in La Push at the meeting of the board. They have a lot to discuss after our visit to the Cullen’s house. And I'll be there unnecessary. Yes, and I cannot leave Charlie quite unattended. Jake would not let me go, as I did, but as a member of the pack, he does not belong to only himself and cannot simply ignore the orders. And he has to attend the council, like the rest. Jake has promised that he would come tomorrow, and quickly smacking my lips in farewell, he disappeared.
Sam specifically didn’t take Paul to Cullen’s, because of his explosive character. And he was right, as it is unknown how the most intemperate werewolf pack would respond to the Alice’s defending position. The contract could be broken. Besides, we cannot leave La Push without a single defender. So Sam has chosen a candidate. Embry laughed off the floor all the way until we were in Jake’s "Volkswagen". He told me how left in the La Push werewolf was terribly unhappy that Sam coddled him like a baby. But he couldn’t do anything apart from grumbling. Alpha has left strict orders, which everybody unquestioningly obey, even against the will.
I laid out vegetables and meat on plates and put salad on the table:
- Dad, dinner is ready.
- Baby, I told you I’m not hungry, - Charlie’s flaccid voice came from the living room.
- Oh, no, you cannot get out of my super tasty roast. Tomorrow it won’t be so good even if warm it up. So come here and sit down at the table. - I tried to cheer dad at least just a lil.
- Bella, what would I do without you? - Dad got up and walked towards me.
-you would eat only fried eggs.
Dad smiled. Well, finally a small victory!
I wasn’t mistaken: Charlie quickly ate his portion and wandered for more.
I never asked my father about the funeral, trying not to make him recall the bad news once again. But I really wanted to ask about something else. About Alice. I'm bursting with curiosity about what they could talk about. Did Charlie tell her about my semi-annual zombie state? Or maybe he shouted at Alice for Edward? Accusing him in everything? But papa remained silent, and I did not ask. And how could I ask? Charlie would ask quite a logical question: how did I know?
I never managed to talk to Alice & I don’t know when and if will I have a chance to. I have accumulated so many questions. Where was Victoria that Alice tracked her down right to Forks? Like the rest of Cullen’s? How is ... Edward? I’m not sure I could quietly ask one last question.
Alice also mentioned that she’s been in Denali. Did she walk the whole distance from there? Although I know that distance for the vampires – is not a problem. Then, Victoria was also in Denali? Or just Laurent? In Alaska, inhabited by vampires- vegetarians, Victoria with Laurent. Something here does not converge.
But despite all this, I am filled with emotions. Jake is now with me - my personal sun, as the real one seems has left Forks forever. And I am very pleased to see my girl friend once again. Same can’t be said about Jake. We'll have to deal seriously with his prejudice regarding Cullen. At least, about Alice. That’s all I can ask for, by this time. I understand that is so hard for Jake to step over his aversion to worst enemies. But, in fact, Cullens, in the literal sense of the word, aren’t enemies. I have since managed to insist that the Embry’s idea has a logical sense. Jake, was openly infuriated with it. But besides me, it was initially supported by Sam and the rest of pack, too, which it is very important. So Jake couldn’t get out.
Seeing Alice’s little fac, I realized what I really missed her. Jessica has been out of grade of girlfriend and went to the rank of the enemy.
Angela is cool to communicate with, but not more, coz I feel I can’t open my whole to her. All these months I really lacked women's shoulder, to simply complain to the vest. Who does not need to blatantly lie or hide the other side of me. Before. Alice used to  know everything about me. But that’s in the past and my life was different then.
Thanking for dinner, Dad walked into his room, and again I found nothing to keep myself busy with.
In fact, I'm just terrified to stay without Jake, but I didn’t give him any hint about it. The better we were feeling when together, the worse I feel when we’re apart. I can congratulate myself that I have been exacerbated by this kind of personal illness. But I do not have the right to monopolize Jake. And I shall remain unperturbed, so that he wouldn’t feel guilty during his absence.
Fear of the return of depression forced me not to sit still and do anything to stay occupied. My usual daily ritual. I washed the dishes and, as always, tore the kitchen. But it took only half an hour. Too yearly to go to bed so,. I turned on the TV and tried to find something interesting. But I could not, I wasn’t interested in absolutely nothing, and clicking programs did not bring any pleasure.
I got up to my room & began to direct the ideal order. I'd grown weary homework to break out of the forces. I doubt very much that I just can sleep without thinking about all the past and more upcoming events. Do not think of Alice and ... Edwards. The fact ... that he will appear in Forks. Just go through the night, and tomorrow I'll see Jake, and all will return to its seats! Spring school holidays are not over yet, so I can carry a long time with him. My favorite Jake! Previously, we have always been with him on the same wavelength. But my personal confession to him and myself opened up  an entirely new ways of relationships and feelings to us .... Flush again made itself felt, forcing my cheeks to flame. Memories of last night helped me forget about everything else.
I frantically was putting clothes on its places. I think I'm feeling a lil tired now. That's fine. I should more carefully wipe the floor and it’s better to do it with hands. I dragged pail and rag from the bathroom & I started to rub the wooden surface to a perfect shine. Suddenly I saw a gap between the floorboards, beside the bed. It’s strange that, I never used to notice it here. Well, yes, l always use a mop and do not bend so low. It seems that someone just manually put the board to close the hole in the floor. I got the manicure scissors from the locker to remove the plaque and see how deep the hole is. Maybe I'll see the first floor? It's funny - if the room has a hole in the ceiling, Dad would have long noticed it.
Somehow thrusting scissors into the lumen, I ripped off and removed a wooden box.
To my surprise, the hole was not empty. I pulled out all the content, and at the very moment my heart skipped a beat anxiously. Under the weight of memories, I settled on the floor and began to mindlessly ran my fingers on a  dusty discovery. The first came two tickets for the plane flight Seattle-Jacksonville. Next - silver disc without a title. And three photos. As if in a fog, I looked at them. At the first - a smiling Edward with eyes the color of molten gold, in the kitchen. So beautiful. I automatically ran my fingers along the outline of his face, but did not feel the expected cold skin. On the second - Edward and my dad on the couch in the living room. A smile is missing, but it did not affect the flawless beauty of his face. The last photograph showed us together, but so strikingly different from each other. Mythical deity, and me, totally contrasting with him. "It will be as if I never existed”. You are mistaken, Edward. His name was once again pierced my brain with a thousand of needles. Just what I was holding in my hands now, and there is irrefutable proof that you are not just a dream, and that I haven’t set up in you in my imagination, and then, as then as in mockery of myself, and have started to suffer from the fact that you have suddenly disappeared from my head.
I collected the pictures, somehow got up and sat on the bed. And then did something that was denied since last September. I inserted the disc into the player, put on headphones and pressed the «play». Chords of extraordinary beauty rang. Lullaby. My lullaby. Groan escaped from my chest. I was lacking air. I grabbed myself with hands. Why are you doing this to me, Edward! You wanted me to live without you, taking a ridiculous promise from me - not to do anything stupid. What did you mean to prove? I thought I could not find all this? You said that I was not good enough for you. In fact, I already knew that. With these words, you signed my life sentence. I went over the photos again and again. You have never disappeared. And have never vanished. And never will.
I stretched, turned off the light and curled up in bed. Pillow instantly became wet. I did not notice when I started to cry. Music continued to play in the headphones. Edward was playing on the piano for me.
Suddenly unrealistic guess as a bright meteor flashed through my head: I know why he left the gifts - he wanted to come back! But why? No, no - it cannot be true! If he loved me as much as I did, he would never have gone. It's like a cruel April fool’s joke. Maybe he did not want to throw away all these things and simply left ‘em here? He didn’t want these things to remind him of me ... This option is more like the truth.
Suddenly, as if in confirmation of my thoughts, I noticed a dark silhouette in the window. Glass slipped up. Edward ...
- NO! Go! Let me go! I do not want to see you!
I had nowhere to run, and I just grabbed my knees, with head bowed and eyes shut tight. Perhaps it is a vision only in my imagination, and it will soon disappear. I opened my eyes, but the silhouette approached me and took me by the hand. I cried ...

Отредактировано Suoli (16-05-10 14:54:00)